وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. [17:23]
- Our obedience to our parents should increase as they age. Why?
- Elderly are like children; they require help, support, supervision, etc. and can be annoying. As we become more independent they become more dependent (a time will come when the reverse will happen).
- They nurtured us, provided us, helped us… when we were young, and without a doubt would do it again.
- Used to show frustration. Implication: Regardless of how much they irritate us, even signs of frustrations should not be visible.
- This word is used for water which is gushing with a force. This is how your parents feel when you speak to them impolitely or disrespectfully.
- A river also flows right by; we should never ignore our parents and walk away from them.
The man said to ibn Umar RA, “I have come from such and such a place (implying what do you mean I have done nothing)”. ibn Umar RA replied, “when your mother gave everything for you, she did it out of joy and love for you, wanting to see you flourish. What you are doing is out of a sense of duty and guilt, while counting the number of days before she dies.”